Chumble Spuzz
BSB Design Principle
Panel 1Boss: “When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle.” Panel 2Dilbert: “BSB?”Boss: “Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle.” Panel 3Dilbert: “Isn’t that sort of evil?”Boss: “It isn’t our fault if customers don’t buy an ugly case.”
Salad Before Pizza
Pizza’s Here! Yes! Finally! But first let’s all enjoy a nice, healthy salad. It’s like standing at the gates of heaven and finding out you’re in boarding group 6.
Laughed Myself Fuzzy
Catbert: Evil HR director I’m starting an employee skills database. Question: Is this the first step in moving everyone to jobs they don’t want? No, no, no… The first step was when I laughed myself fuzzy thinking about it.
You’re solving the wrong problem!
Panel 1Dilbert: “Why are you sending me to teach COBOL to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows COBOL, not me.” Panel 2Boss: “Wally said he’s busy that day.”Dilbert: “Can’t you reschedule the class?” Panel 3Boss: “Okay… does tomorrow work for you?”Dilbert (shouting, frustrated): “You’re solving the wrong problem!”
So the real message here is “be dishonest”?
I want the last piece of pie! Don’t divide it up! Give it all to me! Don’t be selfish, Calvin. So the real message here is “be dishonest”?
My Cerebellum Just Fused
Panel 1Teacher: “OK, you’ve all read the chapter, so who can tell me what’s important about the Battle of Lexington?” Panel 2(Calvin sits silently at his desk. Teacher says:)Teacher: “Anyone?” Panel 3Teacher: “Calvin, how about you?” Panel 4Calvin (wild-eyed and frazzled): “Hard to say, ma’am. I think my cerebellum just fused.”
Chumble Spuzz!
Panel 1(Test question on paper:)“1. Explain Newton’s First Law of Motion in your own words.”(Calvin looks at the paper, thinking.) Panel 2(Calvin smiles, realizing something.) Panel 3(Calvin writes nonsense:)“Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.” Panel 4Calvin (smiling proudly): “I love loopholes.”
it saves your teeth undue wear and tear!
Panel 1Calvin: “Want to see a great idea in action?” Panel 2Calvin: “First you drink half the milk in your thermos. That leaves enough room so you can wad the rest of your lunch in there. See, here goes my jelly sandwich and a banana!” Panel 3Calvin: “Let it soak for a minute, then shake … Read more